Matildas celebrity Mary Fowler has revealed she nearly took her personal life as she struggled with suicidal ideas that began when she was simply 17 years previous.
Fowler has made the courageous admission in her upcoming ebook, Bloom, through which she explains that she is ‘nonetheless coping with’ the psychological well being battle that left her on the sting of catastrophe simply earlier than her twentieth birthday.
The Manchester Metropolis star had moved to France to play for the Montpellier HSC membership when she hit her lowest ebb.
‘One evening, I received nearer than ever earlier than,’ she writes within the memoir.
‘In that second, I did not comply with by way of.
‘However I did sit there for a lot of the evening pleading for anybody up above who would take heed to please simply take me.’
Matildas celebrity Mary Fowler has bravely detailed her terrifying battle with suicidal ideas, which reached a low level when she was taking part in in France
Fowler (pictured within the Défilé L’Oreal Paris present at Paris Style Week in September) began experiencing suicidal ideation when she was simply 17
The 22-year-old stated she has ‘healed’ from that battle after looking for skilled assist – and confiding in her family and friends
Fowler, who began taking part in in consultant groups aged simply 10, starred for the Younger Matildas at 15 and signed with Montpellier when she was 17, writes that her extremely darkish ideas have been fuelled by her ‘sense of loss’ at having grown up too quick, and being remoted from her household and associates.
The 22-year-old stated she started to self-harm whereas she was in France as a means of coping with her psychological anguish.
‘The motivation was to divert my emotional ache,’ she stated.
‘Trying again now, it is weird that I assumed bodily harming myself would really feel higher than coping with my feelings, however I used to be younger and did not understand how to deal with the scenario in entrance of me.
‘I used to be having a little bit of an id disaster, attempting to take care of the expectation to carry out and struggling to navigate a troublesome work setting.’
As horrific as that wrestle with suicidal ideation was, Fowler believes it helped mould her into a greater individual.
‘Regardless of all of the challenges in Montpellier, it modified me in stunning methods,’ she writes.
‘It burst the bubble of my soccer world and opened my eyes to the life throughout me I used to be taking as a right in my pursuit of fame.
Fowler’s footy star boyfriend Nathan Cleary (pictured collectively) has been a rock for her as she used him as an inspiration throughout her psychological well being combat
The Manchester Metropolis ahead stated the scale of the psychological well being and suicide downside in Australia ‘blew my thoughts’
Fowler has bravely opened up about her ordeal in her new ebook, Bloom
‘My concept of success was erased and rewritten in a extra holistic means … life has grow to be a lot greater than I might’ve imagined, which has made me extremely grateful to my previous self for selecting to maintain attempting.’
Presently out of motion whereas recovering from a severe knee harm, Fowler instructed News Corp that her boyfriend, Penrith NRL star Nathan Cleary, has been a rock for her as she bounces again from the bottom level in her life.
‘One thing I actually admire in our relationship is that though we’re each skilled athletes, most of our discuss is in regards to the psychological aspect,’ she stated.
‘Nathan has been so useful with that.
‘He’s nearly like a task mannequin for me. I draw inspiration from what he does, as a result of we’re each such totally different athletes.’
Fowler added that she has obtained skilled assist together with her psychological well being in addition to confiding in her household and associates as she ‘healed’, however the terrifying episode has left a long-lasting mark on her.
‘I am unable to lie and say that some days it does not have an effect on me,’ she writes.
‘In attempting to know extra about how I received into that place, I used to be doing analysis on-line in regards to the present statistics in Australia round psychological well being and suicide.
‘It simply blew my thoughts how large these numbers are.
‘It actually linked with me that, in a means, I might simply have been a kind of statistics.’
Fowler was reunited with Cleary earlier this month as he toured England with Australia’s nationwide rugby league crew, the Kangaroos.
She additionally opened up about how their romance has modified because it first drew consideration in mid-2023 after they have been photographed collectively at a number of public occasions, together with an ice-cream date and a park outing quickly after the Ladies’s World Cup.
The pair confirmed their romance later that 12 months, with Cleary attending Matildas matches and Fowler noticed supporting Penrith’s NRL finals marketing campaign.
‘I’ve grow to be much more snug with expressing my love and simply being much more current with him, and with others, when persons are watching,’ she stated.
In 2024, the celebrities balanced their high-profile sporting careers with a long-distance relationship as Fowler performed in England for Manchester Metropolis whereas Cleary remained in Australia.
The couple have been in a position to catch up earlier this 12 months when Fowler was in Australia with the Matildas, regardless of recovering from an ACL tear.
Fowler is pictured whereas taking part in for French crew Montpellier HSC. It was throughout that stint that she was left ‘pleading for anybody up above who would take heed to please simply take me’
The Queensland-born ahead (pictured taking part in for the Matildas in April) is at present sidelined whereas she recovers from a severe knee harm
She was unable to look at Cleary within the first Ashes Take a look at because it clashed together with her Manchester Metropolis commitments.
Fowler surprised her followers in September as she grew to become the primary skilled footballer to stroll the runway within the prestigious Défilé L’Oreal Paris present at Paris Style Week as she stepped out with superstars together with Kendall Jenner and Eva Longoria.
The gifted ahead, who has been an envoy for L’Oréal Paris since 2024, wore a one-sleeved black go well with gown and black heels for her journey down the catwalk, trying assured and even blowing the group a kiss.
She additionally posed up for a star-studded group shot on the present that includes family names like Jenner, Helen Mirren, Jane Fonda, Gillian Anderson and Cara Delevingne.
When information of her look broke earlier this month, Fowler admitted she was a ‘little nervous’ about being entrance and centre on the runway on the Lodge de Ville.
‘Actually, I by no means imagined I might be strolling any runway, not to mention one for L’Oreal that is in Paris of all locations,’ she stated.
If you’re struggling, name Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Past Blue on 1300 22 4636
